Okay.....so I thought it would be a nice time to blog about some stuff. I really only wanted to blog about the baby but i thought that I should also be writing down my emotions and things like that. I justwant to remember everything. Well today was my first day beack to work in like 4 days. i was off 2 day in a row and got all the way to work to decide to go to the doctor and then the doctor told me to have the next day off so yea....
that was also my first time seeing the father after telling him....him and i had a talk after work but i'll get to that in a bit. what i wanna talk about first is how everyone at my job basically pissed me off.
the new old girl seemed to not want to do anything after i got there. I'm not hereto relieve you. you had a double today and thats a damn personal problem.
My "brother" seemed like he had nothing to say to anyone, and had nothing to say about thebaby so i took that personally because i don't know how everyones brains work so yea.....personal. lol
but then there was my bosses and that was the part that just erked me to noend
I asked my manager could I have a 5 min and he said that i hadn't even been there for 2 hours yet. ask Kris, he remembers from when we first started working there. You know my response to that?
Kris isn't pregnant, I don't give a shit.
MAybe that was a bit harsh but seriously, I didn't tell people at my job because i was happy and wanted them to know. I told them so when things like that happened they'd be more understanding and would let me take my littl preggo sit down.
Then I was really hungry, but probably because i couldn't eat anything before i left so i asked again and not one would listen to me so i went in the back and ate a cookie because Noah bough cookies for everyone to eat and the owner asked was I on break. I said no. Obviously I'm not on break. son't you own this place and therefore should know that i'm not allowed to be on break yet.
But of course he tells me to clock out because i can't eat on the clock. Yes i understand that i got what i want but only so everyone could irritate the hell oiut of me in the end. I hate that they worry about money and labor and things like that. You set me these hours, legally i'm obligated to these hours, you cant take them from me....but thats getting off preggo topic so anyway....
when i got my actual lunch break i tried to sleep but my fathers mom can into the store to bring him the car keys because she was going to be out with her friends.
I wanted to tell her but i guess its his mother and he can tell her.
Okay so the talk we had was basically feelings and stress and me trying to tell him that he has nothing to worry about. my mother is on board and honestly thats all we need. I'm good so he should be too.
He said that we should get back together. I want to but at the same time its not like it can happen over night. Him and I need to see eye to eye on more things and i know that now that we're having a child that i'm going to speak my opinion and alot of people are going to have a problem but tough nuts.
He's told his father and grandmother and they both asked were there other options...HA! nope. I told him how happy my brother seemed when i told him and he realized that he still hasn't told his sister either which means he has to tell his mother even sooner because she'll tell his mom if he tells her first or his mom will tell her whenever he decides to tell her and then she'll be mad that it took so long....
basically he is afraid and i told him that i understand because if this was last year my mother probably would be different but her needs to realize that there is nothing that we can't do. that is what this little baby is telling me
oh i don't know if i put this in the other entry but i didnt wanna call the baby "it" but i also don't want to give it gender spcific nouns and pronouns so i called "it" shim like once and that turned into Zim like Invader Zim....but them dad seemed to have a problem with that too....yea, i'm still gonna say Zim sometimes any damn way. lol
well i always seem to blog when its stupid late because i try to decide weather its important enoiugh to write down and i do other crap durning the night then at 3 in the morning is when i decide i should go write or blog andstuff like that so its time for me to get some damn sleep.
Zim andI are tired
nite nite
