ipod

so i just re-synced my whole ipod.
yeah...since my mom took my laptop when i moved out i didnt have a way to add songs to my ipod, so i just sat here at my new house, with my friends laptop andadded hella songs to her itunes. The two of us are some music freaks, and at one point her mother also shared the laptop with her so there are tons of songs on this computer right now
lol
i dont have all the songs i wanted but i have lots of the newr songs i've been looking for
i've had the same playlist since i was in the 10th grade
i've been out of school for about 2 years....so it was time to sacrafice
there are certain songs that i just have to have
most of system of a down i had, i re downloaded, then i had to have i don't care, by apocalyptica
plus every song by three days grace(fav band)
so went around the internet like a chicken with my head cut off....
so yeah
i had to get them, and atreyu(2nd fav) and the song that i can't live without.....drum rool plz(rumble rumble rumble LOL)
I believe in a thing called love by the darkness.
I have loved that song for as long as i can remember
plus i added some of my ffriends music
we have similar taste, but we lean on some music more than others, as you can see, or i hope u can, i love rock music

i didnt fill up my ipod though, only because i know that i'll find a song that i just have to have
so it still has about half a gig left
its a four gig.....I can't wait till that paycheck when i can get my touch (32gb)
but i'm being a good sister and i'm getting my brother one for his birthday
he is turning 13 and wants to be a DJ
so, i thought that I'd give him something he can put his music on
plus he's going to actually say he's a teen
lol
I can't believe that at all
he was my little brother and now he's my big little brother, trying to be all mature and stuff, so thats what i'm going to do with that
his bday is 2 days after my moms tho, so i have no idea i'm going to get her

i have to figure it out
any ideas? leave a comment!
plz, what do u get ur mom when u dont even know what to buy ur self half the time

first day of work/great news

okay...well everyone knows that i had my first day of work yesterday
well, it was great...i love everyone i work with and everyone else at work is awesome too
the girls i work with in the back are very helpful, and its the first job i've had that i'm not afraid to ask questions
the manager is in her 20's and i feel like she is my age so i can talk to her if i feel stupid about something
at my first job my boss was 24 and he seems like a boss BOSS
if you get what i mean.
he was cool and i loved him, and his wife was the coolest person i knew, but i was still afraid of him
i wish that they didnt move to texas, but they had to go home
it doesnt matter the place is gone, so i wouldnt be able to go and see them anyway
back to hollister...i like that i do stuff in the back
that makes everything way easier, i dont have to worry about ppl looking at me all day
i fold and find, and look and place
i absolutely love it
everyone looks so pretty
i'm so jelous lol
and the woman i work with the most(not saying anyones names...dont need stalkers) she is so pretty
she older than i am so i guess i thats part of it, but the other part is she just seems like she knows what she wants
she has the best boobs ever
i wonder if they are hers
either way, i was staring at them all day
lol
dont tell her :)
she told me that i needed to get some new clothes, bacuse she has closets full of clothes and i have none
they are so open like everyone is just the best of friends, but i dont think they hang out outside of work
it just doesnt seem like it, like they all have superfun lives and they do all kinds of fun things like hang out with guys and go to partys and all that stuff
go to bars and drink and go out to dinner
and go downtown and all that stuff
i wish i could do stuff like that...:(

but on to the great news
because i have the bestest news ever
well to me its good news

Well, if you guys remember my ex boyfriend Tyler
he wants to get back together and spend valentines weekend together.
i cant wait
he has alot planned for us
we are goin to a car show
hey! i like stuff like that, so you can just shut ur faces
lol
and we are going to dinner and movie(IMAX)
i love the harbor plus he is taking me shopping because as you might have read b4, i dont hve any clothes, so he is getting me whatever i want
anything...and he has a suprise for me that i can't know about so i cant wait till then

i just hope that i dont have to work
the thing is because the job is so new that i dont want to call out and mess that all up
thats how i got dismissed from wendys
no thank you
none of that
lol
so i just pray that i get to see him...and my family
me and my mother talk for hours on the phone now
she never has anyone to talk to, she talks to her boo but no one else to really talk to.
I think it's weird that we talk so much when we don't live together, and then when we live together, we never say anything to eachother
i wish that it could stay like that
she is trying her hardest to move, and asked me if they got a new house would i move in with them... the thing is I would love to move back to that side of town, but i don't really want to go through all of this with my mom again.
I love her and I'm so tired of the clash between mom and friend
i want to hav both
but she forgets that i'm 20 now and having a 1 o'clock curfew is wack
if i go back i dont want a curfew, the only time i wanna have to call her is if i'm staying the night some where. not if i'm goin to be late and then she's mad because i called and she has to go to work but sh'd be mad if i didnt because then she'd worry

sure, u can know where i am at all times, but dont be mad that i'm not there because i'm going to stay at ppls houses i'm going ot do what i want
i'm man adult now....but i'd love to go back and i love my mommy, so i'll talk to her about that when i come up for one weekend

but back to my awesome weekend with my awesome guy...he is taking me to the car show, i really want to go
i want my mom and mr keth to go
they went last year i think
it would be cool if they went with us
tyler might feel weird if they went...but i dont really care, just because it'll be funny
but then, we'd have to agree on the place to eat after that and my mom wouldn't feel like staying and walking around
she isnt going to want to go to the IMAX either
i really want to see a movie at the IMAX theatre
i've loved all the movies i've see there, probably just because i love being at the harbor
oh, and we should probably go get some crabs, that would be cool
or, maybe on sunday, because then we can just have some fun and all that, i'd have to wake up earlier than my mom...i dont think i can do that


and i cant wait to see what this suprise is....i just know that its going to be something that i'm going to love
i'm so simple, so cliche
i like things that u see in the moves, and thats all i want
flowers and chocolate
stuff like that.
And i've been waiting to go to the harbor for years with someone that i loved, and i get to try on tons of clothes
<3 :) yay!!!
lol
well ttfn, i hav to go call my best friend...i have lots of those, but one is at work and the other is in the next room...so yeah, and my mom is one of them, but i just got off the phone with her lol
c ya

update

okay, so in my "BLOGGING" blog, i said that i would right my new years resolution, or i think tht was the one with my goals...?
idk , anyway i dont think i ever told you guys
its to make a better me
in anyway that i can just do me to the best of my abilities

i know that i had goals to
lose weight
find a job
and get my own place......

i dont think that i've lost any weight, i thinki've gained weight. i dont actually have a scale, so idk
i found a job (Hollister)
and as far as my own place goes...i dont have my own place, but i'm renting out a room in a different side of town now, so to me that counts for something, i'm half way there, kinda
so i think that i'm doing pretty well for myself
its not everything i wanted but other things i want include marriage and things like that, that i cant really get on my own...so yeah
i didnt want to get married this year, but i was hoping that i'd be a step closer than i am now, actually two steps closer, but whatever....
just thought I'd give you guys an update on what ever the hell i call my life
*sigh* ta ta

i want it!!

okay so this is just a bunch of things that i wish i could have but i dont have the money for

• iPod touch
• car
• mini fridge
• candy
• new clothes

SO yeah, i wish i had the money but i dont

i can get the ipod touch now, and chose bill me later, and i should have the money in the newt couple of weeks
i have a new job at hollister and i'm so happy about that
IU've always wanted to work in a place that
all the girls always look so happy and look so pretty
I dont think i have the energy to make sure i look so pretty everyday

i really could care less, but at the same time i do
its weird
but yeah, my dad got me a car, until i decided to move out of my moms house, idk what they have to do with eachother so what ever

as far as the clothes, i have to buy new clothes for work anyway so hopefully someone can help me out on the new clothes,
the mini fridge...I've always wanted one, nothing has changed, and i found a pretty cheap one at wal mart...so lets see what the first paycheck looks like

and the CANDY!!! I'm just being too lazy to walk to the store, i think that if i get all my change together i could go get some gummy worms, but its raining and a little snow going on out threr, so i think i'm going to stay in the house and not go get candy that i dont really have the money for

moving out, moving up, and moving on

okay, so i've been staying with one of the coolest friends ever and her family.
they are like my second family, I love them to death
My mother and I should have realized a long time ago that we shouldn't live under the same roof
like, seriously, i was going to rip my hair out living with her
i just figured that now that i'm 20 i'm going to start feeling out how i want to live
i have my own way of seeing things that my mother didnt
i want her to know that i love her and that i want to come visit, and stay the night and gossip because she is one of my best friends, but we are polar opposites.
i blame my dad...not that its his fault, but i'm like him, we like our own space, we dont like to be bother really
that's why i like to hang with my dad, because after a while we just chill and dont bother eachother. We listen to music or work out of order chinese.
living with my mom, though i think she doesnt make the effort to hang with her kids because they live with her. she sees us all the time and so she'll put it off for another time.
that makes me sad
she keeps saying that we need to spend time with family because they may be gone soon
by this she means the older relatives, but anything can happen to anyone
i could get hit by a bus, or fall off of a motorcycle(i want one ). so I just think that my mother needs to spend more time with her kids, even this one that doesn't listen and has a mind of her own...
and when parents say that they want you to always be independent and have a mind of your own...do they always mean that, or are they saying because its what sounds the best?
i'm just asking


but i'm glad that i have the family and friends that i have because i wouldn't be the person i am today

moving on...I have a guy situation...
so i broke up with my boyfriend on my birthday. or we broke up
the thing is we both misunderstood eachother
to me that means we should get back together but he doesnt want to ...
now in any other case i would just leave this alone, we are already broken up and i'd just move on
i've been trying to move on but he wants to take me out for the Valentines day weekend
that just sounds all kinds of confusing to me...Like i just knew that i was in love with him and that we'd be together, but now i dont even want to see him because he isnt making any sense to me and i hate when people do that
he wants us to be together one day but not now
if it was anyone else i'd be like..ummm...NO
but he isnt an ass like most guys so i'm trying to give him a chance at it
plus we are going to a car show
and i love cars and bikes(this is something new)
and he knows what i like he pays attention to me....

on the other hand one of my best friends and I are sparking some old flames
and i know that he makes me happy, i know that he knows me
and i know him, and that feels great
but he is going into the damn army...did i ever mention that i hate that, plus i hate being alone, and i dont like long distance
and even right now its long distance, i just moved to the other side of town remember...?
so yeah, i dont feel like doing this
i dont feel like having my heart ripped apart

the last time i had a long distance relationship, i got my heart broken and i had the worst time ever trying to make things right, not with us but with myself
i'm easily broken and hard o fix
...so i really dont want to get into either one of theese, but my heart keeps telling my to just try
either one, because i can honestly see myself married to both.
AND THAT IS THE SCARY PART
crap like that doesnt happen
u dont just say yeah, i'll be with which ever one proposes first
i'm too young to be having theese issues >(

I need help and guidance, i need a shoulder and i need people to make up their minds
i'm not with one because he doesn't know what the hell he wants and i'm not with the other because he doesnt want to try this long distance thing
i dont either but i also dont like putting things off
to me its like u are just trying to get ur jollies before we are together
u have to be free in the mean time
so idk


i dont know, i never know alls i know it that i'm listening to sanctuary by utada in my ipod
that is the only thing that i am postive about over anything else
and my dog is scratching her head: so stick that in your juicce box and suck it