I'm finally moving back in with my mother..Yeah I know I've gone through this before but I really can't stand being where I am. It's not like its bad its just bad for my health..I'm not going to go into details because i told my friend and it grossed her out so I guess that I'm just going to skip that...all u guys need to know is that my body is going through changes...My doctor said its because I never really do anything that out of the ordinary, and now I'm doing things and is in an eviroment that I'm never usually in.....
But I'm so happy because I miss my boyfriend like crazy....
I actually got a chance to talk to him today...that means alot because if u don't know...I left my phone at my moms house 2 weeks ago and I haven't talked to him in like forever...(he doesn't have the internet O_o)
But I got him a promsie ring...I know that I'm the girl, but it's cool because a birdie told me that he had one for me and i think that a guy should get one to wear too...so when I go home I'm going to be so happy...I'm going to post pix of both the rings in my next post <3
well i love you dollies so much
ttyl
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Reinvention
IK'm trying to re-invent myself...and not like I'm going to make a hole new me, because I'm not changing who I am...I just want to enhance the me I am....
Just like v2.0 kinda thing
The thing is i wake up and my skin looks horrible and I just feel so ugly, It's not like I live near my boyfriend so I don't have anyone to look pretty for, but at the end of the day I hate myself for doing nothing.I have turned into a lazy pig and I hate it. I lost some weight and I'm not sure if I put it back on or not... I dont eat that much, but I dont do anything all day either.
I just feel so odd, and so diffrent than what i felt before. I don't have any friends anymore...well I have friends back at home, but I don't have any of them here and it's really starting to kill me. Like it is slowly killing me. The more a person sits around and the less active they are the more and more there body goes into survival mode. If I dont start to get up and do things my body is going to stop doing it's normal cleaning and its going to focus all the energy on styaing alive.
I read about it on some website. Just google it. But I think tomorrow I'm going to wake up at a nice time and do my make-up and go out and just make some friends, but after i eat of course. That is something that I definately have to do. yeah i know I spelled that wrong...anyway, anyone that live in MD let me know and I'll try to see if we can hang, I'm willing to just get the hell out of this house.
It also sucks because my friend goes out and hangs with lots of her friends all the time and I'm always here alone and its really starting to get to me.
I know that she has her own friends but she is always at work and then she tries to escape by going to one of her friends houses and I'm home alone for the whole day... and then she wakes up and goes to work again....The main issue is finding a better job for myself and getting some friends that wont leave me alone all the time. OMG, wen i get my phone back from my moms house I'm going to have tons of messages and missed calls and things. It really sux that I cant talk to my boyfriend. He would make all of this better. I just know he would because he is the bestest boyfriend i could ask for. I have been writing him letters like everyday, but i don't have any money for postage...just writing to make sure I don't go insane. It's crazy but I'm just crazy like that. And I'm writing a book to make sure that I don't forget basic skills. It's weird...but I have to make sure nothing happenes to my regular body functions. I'm trying not to be a burden to the rest of the family. I feel like i'm just here and taking up space...and I know her mom is proably mad because i hven't paid rent. I really am hating myself right now. but what else can I do?
Well i guess i'm going to go and do something else...have fun everyone, and remember...always do something...just get the hell up and do something with your day...
No matter what it is do it. I'll probably be back on tonight anyway because I'm not going to have anything else to do
Just like v2.0 kinda thing
The thing is i wake up and my skin looks horrible and I just feel so ugly, It's not like I live near my boyfriend so I don't have anyone to look pretty for, but at the end of the day I hate myself for doing nothing.I have turned into a lazy pig and I hate it. I lost some weight and I'm not sure if I put it back on or not... I dont eat that much, but I dont do anything all day either.
I just feel so odd, and so diffrent than what i felt before. I don't have any friends anymore...well I have friends back at home, but I don't have any of them here and it's really starting to kill me. Like it is slowly killing me. The more a person sits around and the less active they are the more and more there body goes into survival mode. If I dont start to get up and do things my body is going to stop doing it's normal cleaning and its going to focus all the energy on styaing alive.
I read about it on some website. Just google it. But I think tomorrow I'm going to wake up at a nice time and do my make-up and go out and just make some friends, but after i eat of course. That is something that I definately have to do. yeah i know I spelled that wrong...anyway, anyone that live in MD let me know and I'll try to see if we can hang, I'm willing to just get the hell out of this house.
It also sucks because my friend goes out and hangs with lots of her friends all the time and I'm always here alone and its really starting to get to me.
I know that she has her own friends but she is always at work and then she tries to escape by going to one of her friends houses and I'm home alone for the whole day... and then she wakes up and goes to work again....The main issue is finding a better job for myself and getting some friends that wont leave me alone all the time. OMG, wen i get my phone back from my moms house I'm going to have tons of messages and missed calls and things. It really sux that I cant talk to my boyfriend. He would make all of this better. I just know he would because he is the bestest boyfriend i could ask for. I have been writing him letters like everyday, but i don't have any money for postage...just writing to make sure I don't go insane. It's crazy but I'm just crazy like that. And I'm writing a book to make sure that I don't forget basic skills. It's weird...but I have to make sure nothing happenes to my regular body functions. I'm trying not to be a burden to the rest of the family. I feel like i'm just here and taking up space...and I know her mom is proably mad because i hven't paid rent. I really am hating myself right now. but what else can I do?
Well i guess i'm going to go and do something else...have fun everyone, and remember...always do something...just get the hell up and do something with your day...
No matter what it is do it. I'll probably be back on tonight anyway because I'm not going to have anything else to do
Friday, March 5, 2010
Making plans!!
Okay, so I've finally figured out what I want to do with my life. I want to be a business woman. Yeah, I kinda knew that all along, because I don't really like doing what other people tell me to do. I mean I don't mind, but I knew that it wasn't something that I was going to do with my entire life...
So I'm going to open uo a shop with accessories and jewlery and things like that.
I really had to give this some thought.
I haven't been in a business class in like 3 years...and I don't think that I can do this all by myself...I need motivation and I need someone that is going to have my back. So I have decided to go back to school, just for a couple of classes though. You all know how I am with school. We really just dont get along at all.(lol)
I have never been a trouble maker but I don't like school. Too many people pass judgement on you on a daily basis..and blah blah blah. Anyway, I think I'm going to try and be an AVON or MARK representative; see how the business thing works out for me...If it doesn, then I'm going to open up a shop somewhere where there is alot of people getting to anf fro...but not that many people because that is going to cost me an arm and a leg for rent space. But you know, something thats going to bring in the business.
I plan on making jewlry and other accessories that I know how to make. I usually make things and then give them to other people because i can just make a new one. I seem to never have one for myself though (lol) so I thought, why not sell them. I never have them for myself anyway.
So that is what I'm going to do.
I have to make plans for myself, and I have to do things that are going to help me and the kids I want to have. They are going to need a place to live and I need to afford that. And when I'm gone what are they going to do? so Yeah..look out for my website coming soon with all the details and grand opening and all that stuff.
Name will be revealed in due time...as soon as I can think of one <3
bye lovlies
So I'm going to open uo a shop with accessories and jewlery and things like that.
I really had to give this some thought.
I haven't been in a business class in like 3 years...and I don't think that I can do this all by myself...I need motivation and I need someone that is going to have my back. So I have decided to go back to school, just for a couple of classes though. You all know how I am with school. We really just dont get along at all.(lol)
I have never been a trouble maker but I don't like school. Too many people pass judgement on you on a daily basis..and blah blah blah. Anyway, I think I'm going to try and be an AVON or MARK representative; see how the business thing works out for me...If it doesn, then I'm going to open up a shop somewhere where there is alot of people getting to anf fro...but not that many people because that is going to cost me an arm and a leg for rent space. But you know, something thats going to bring in the business.
I plan on making jewlry and other accessories that I know how to make. I usually make things and then give them to other people because i can just make a new one. I seem to never have one for myself though (lol) so I thought, why not sell them. I never have them for myself anyway.
So that is what I'm going to do.
I have to make plans for myself, and I have to do things that are going to help me and the kids I want to have. They are going to need a place to live and I need to afford that. And when I'm gone what are they going to do? so Yeah..look out for my website coming soon with all the details and grand opening and all that stuff.
Name will be revealed in due time...as soon as I can think of one <3
bye lovlies
Monday, March 1, 2010
Wiccan Ways
Just in case you didn't know I'm a witch...and before you get all like WHAT!?!?!?!?
Its not what you see on t.v. and all that stuff...but because i dont feel like explaining all i'm going to get to the point. I had my first full moon ritua; tonight. It was great. I feel rejuvinated phsycally, other than the fact that its one in the morning... but mentally...or more emotionally i feel kinda upset. My boyfriend is actually my High Priest. He was the first person i ever went in depth with as far as my religion goes. And he also happened to be wiccan. But I wanted him to be there. I wanted him to guide me. I wanted to talk to him and hold him because he makes everything okay. it really makes me sad that I'm not near him. I just want to cry and even throw up sometimes when he isnt around. I haven't made any new friends where I am at all. I'm supposed to be going go to see him but the way my luck is I probably wont see him at all. Then it'll be another two weeks before i can even try to see him. and its never guareenteed....
I know that he doesn't have any gems or crystals so i was going to by him a pouch of mini ones. That way when he does magic he can think of me...plus there is a place that has some really nice polished and tumbled ones that would be great to get him...
if i do i was going to put a ring in the pouch and ask him to marry me...but he would never accept....
he says its because i'm the female and he is old fashion...but sometimes it hurts my feelings because i don't think he will ever propose. I know we are young but engagments are meant to be a day. they are meant to take some time. I guess i'm just scared that this one might get away...but what can i say I'm in love and i dont want anyone to take him away...ever
not even NY
Its not what you see on t.v. and all that stuff...but because i dont feel like explaining all i'm going to get to the point. I had my first full moon ritua; tonight. It was great. I feel rejuvinated phsycally, other than the fact that its one in the morning... but mentally...or more emotionally i feel kinda upset. My boyfriend is actually my High Priest. He was the first person i ever went in depth with as far as my religion goes. And he also happened to be wiccan. But I wanted him to be there. I wanted him to guide me. I wanted to talk to him and hold him because he makes everything okay. it really makes me sad that I'm not near him. I just want to cry and even throw up sometimes when he isnt around. I haven't made any new friends where I am at all. I'm supposed to be going go to see him but the way my luck is I probably wont see him at all. Then it'll be another two weeks before i can even try to see him. and its never guareenteed....
I know that he doesn't have any gems or crystals so i was going to by him a pouch of mini ones. That way when he does magic he can think of me...plus there is a place that has some really nice polished and tumbled ones that would be great to get him...
if i do i was going to put a ring in the pouch and ask him to marry me...but he would never accept....
he says its because i'm the female and he is old fashion...but sometimes it hurts my feelings because i don't think he will ever propose. I know we are young but engagments are meant to be a day. they are meant to take some time. I guess i'm just scared that this one might get away...but what can i say I'm in love and i dont want anyone to take him away...ever
not even NY
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